conclusion to the year :)

a miracles-filled year! :) i've recognised that God has been constantly providing and keeping me with Him. He has showed me the better plan, corrected my mistakes, punished me for my unrepentance, blessed me with people that cared, told me that as long as i remain in Him and His word remained in me, my prayers will surely be answered! :) in His will of course! ;) and i'm glad that i grew this year. learning to appreciate the simple pleasures of life. doing something for God. family. friends. studying. pianoing. eating ice cream. ..to be continued. hee.

back in action :D

sorry bloggy! i've neglected you for the past 2weeks or so :( Christmas was a joy!
updates about my life! so i've been posted already to somewhere in the west closer to home (that's a big relief!) and training has been quite strenuous on the body. okay more on the reflective side/things i'm thinking of now..hmm..a dilemmic situation whereby you're stuck between being a wayang person and being who you really are? knowing that being the wayang one will reap you benefits? next, 7 more weeks to go! :D new year is here!!

i'm still holding on. keep this faith? :D

P.O.P :D

i've made it! :)) 24000metres = approx. 50000 steps = abrasion + cramps + fatigue + foot ROT + loads of singing + gravels + pools of mud + my nougats that motivated me + my buddies that made this march a super funny one! + charcoal tan + my 15kg field bag... thank God.

to all who've prayed for me, He is an Almighty God. He never fails. :)

now is time for ... ... more RUM AND RAISIN!!! :D

the last march! :D

i'm 13hours away from my 24000metres march. butterflies are fluttering and the rum & raisin ice cream is still melting away in my stomach. this isnt going to be an easy feat.

With every beat of my heart, every song that i sing, every prayer that i pray, every offering i make, every thought that i have, every word that i say, oh be glorified. from the start of each day till the end of the night, let me bring praise, let me bring light, Lord i offer my life, as a living sacrifice. be glorified.

"this is my prayer. its the cry of my heart, Lord i want my life to reflect who you are. Oh Lord please stir up the fire and burn everything till all i desire is you."

this march is for you Lord. :)

stuck and confounded :(

i found out that i have only 4 days of leave. thus i had to make the decision to do a last minute withdrawal from this year's miming. i felt really awful and confounded. i've become a liability to the miming team due to my sudden withdrawal. I didn't wish for this to happen. I've got to serve when duty calls. but who is my master?

"Father, you know i've got a situation i'm stuck and i'm perplexed by the situation i'm in. I want to serve you! I want to! but i'm tied down by restrictions. I need your help God! untie the knots for me and make this string of life smooth again. :) i'll trust and obey. take my cares away Lord. amen"

here's my last burst of energy!! WAAAHHHHH! Ö

my last burst of energy :D

week 7 is over and i'm into week 8.

fatigue, mentally strained, blisters, foot rot, mosquitos' kisses.

here's abit of how my mosquitos' kisses came about. we were told to sleep on the bare field. scouting around, there were a few rain trees. here and there. my buddy and i decided to sleep under one of the larger rain tree, in case there were to be a downpour. true enough, CAT 1 rain. we were grinning in our sleep. knowing the others are out there probably frantic and a little pissed. haha! next morning, when my buddy and i woke up, we were stunned. he was covered with mosquito bites from head to toe and me on the butt. then we realised that if man need shelter to hide from the rain, MOSQUITOS DO TOO! :D laughing point of the week.

pray for the mental strength to overcome the physical barrier and God to pull me through. :))

a breath caught :)

seeing those familiar faces of people who have somehow imprinted their footprints in my life was a pleasant sight to see and a checkpoint that i'm home. rum & raisin ice-cream. my 'chui' piano. church friends. my bed. family. wonders of God's creations.

left my handphone and wallet back there. i felt free. non-dependant on fast wizardry of technology. just the simple old fashion mouth to mouth talks. :) this sudden declination pace of life enabled me to take a closer look at things around me. God. friends. nature. structures. food. gadgetries. a thought then came. "i'm blessed." that's all i have to say.

3 more weeks. :))

"Father, thank you for giving me yet another break to see the little wonders of life. the ice-cream break was great. the catching up with my brothers and sisters was even better. time well spent i must say. here's my prayer requests to you Lord, to guide me through my sit-test, to love the people there and to cast my burdens unto you. amen"

"I believe there is more." :)

closer to nature :)

hoorah! :D i've survived the wild. and i'm back. ... with truck loads of love from the mosquitos', burst blisters from the treacherous terrains and rashes from mother nature. words wouldn't have the same weightage as what i've experienced. but a good brief summary, "it wasn't enjoyable but it sure was an experience of a lifetime." :)

spent some quality time with my family. drove a little. played piano a little. rest alot.

ohh and i lavished myself on Don Moen's latest album, "I believe there is more". feel free to ask me if u want to ....... (u know what i mean) ;)

*scatches a little*

24hrs :)

standing there for 24hours showed me God's wonderful creation of this world. from sunset to sunrise. from the scorching sun to the chilly gale winds. i stood there. enjoying the best views i've ever seen. picture perfect at every moment. all that was short was a camera. :D

a timely note :)

"i've to make it for 2nd service by hook or by crook...by hook or by crook." this was all i could think of. standing at the cross junction hoping for a willing cab to pick a desperate man. I needed God to sustain me. to keep me rooted. Today's sermon was a timely reminder. To be a s.o.l.d.i.e.r and a servant of God would be to love God ABOVE ALL ELSE and fight the good battle. the question was "are you willing to pay the price??" To be hated, scoffed at, berated, ignored to a point where you feel like igniting from the churning frustration built-up inside you. There is nothing you can do but to keep a level head and stand steadfast in the deluge of negative emotions.

i'll be away for 2 weeks this time. out in the wild unknown.

"Father, thank you for keeping my every stride safe so far. forgive me for relying on my own ability instead of yours at times. or a little more. for the coming 2 weeks, i'm giving myself to you wholy. unrestrained. i need you Lord. carry me once again. amen."

a little care and concern :)

the curls look great. :D i hope all is well on your side.

week three :)

"BOOM!" a low bassy sound rung and shook my entire body. i never felt so good and fearful at the same time. but the experience of throwing THAT was a one off.

"Father, i'm going back in again tonight. i pray that you'll remind me to be still and know that you're God. This week will be a little more dangerous, a little more demanding. i pray that protection will be granted and obedience is observed at all times. thank you Father. amen."

Stand by faith i am in Jesus Christ. I shall not falter for i know i'm in good hands.

arrival time:1947hrs

thank you Father for putting me through this rigorous training the past 2 weeks and allowing me to see and laugh at the little tinges of sweetness you've installed in my life. i've gained new insights and i'm a stronger person now. Father, continue to build me up with your will for me, for i'm most willing to adhere to your commands faithfully. amen.

i'm home :)

i'll be right back! ;)

a friend of mine came up to me and asked, "andrew, why are u still wearing this old and torn sneakers? and why are u using that pokka chrysanthemum tea bottle as a water bottle??" i replied vaguely without much thought, "i dont know really. i guess i just dont want to see it being thrown away." this enquiry triggered a train of thoughts. it made me realise a part of myself i never knew. a person i am who retains things that provide a memory of something/somebody or possesses a sentimental value. something of my most prized possession.

dont write me off just yet. we'll make it good again in God's time. :)) patience and love.

what child is this?

standing a little dazed staring blankly at the blurrness of my own reflection as the train tunnels. a child sniffs and cry. her mom replied, "girl, dont pretend ah." they both responded with a giggle, as though it was an inside joke that only she and her mom shared. this child is special. a sensitive child i suppose. she noticed her mom, standing in front of her with her school bag, looking a tad sad and worned, cheered her up with her actions. it was picture perfect. a mother and her daughter sharing a light moment together. their brief exchange of love was sufficient to tell others that all it needs is a random act of love for one another :) it was God's answer to me. thanks be to Him. truly.

skype! :D

skyping with rae and weijie now :D super lame...

sentosa!

rain or shine we still zuah sentosa! ~haha.. but before that, we waited out patiently for the Sun to vaporise any precipitation lingering our path from vivocity to sentosa. it was chilly cold and gale winds blew from every direction through our legs causing the hairs on our legs to waver along with the flow :D i'm serious. breakfast at harbourfront centre. zihao still wanted teh bing?! retarded. i had 1 egg prata + 2 plain prata + teh tarik. teow and zihao just had to bring up the incident about how i sprained my knee. had a good laugh at the expense of my embarrassment. after breakfast, i was all warm inside. it felt lovely. we then spent approx. 2hrs zzhamming arcade. didnt know that teow is a METAL SLUG zai kiah. any secret items also can find..owned the game totally with 3 credits. on the other hand, me & zihao just kept spamming our money on MAXIMUM TUNE3 which is a racing game. we were hooked all right. then the 3 of us played "basketball" where we had to throw balls into the hoop with 4 different levels. as typical as we are, we KOPE the balls from the other machines and used them to increase our throwing frequency. 1pm. yujing came. he...haiz...."now then come!" we ate at food republic and guess what..tissue papers to chop seats?!

next stop, page one, we twirled a few rounds, laughing and talking about LAME stuff like my knee again.. then yujing had to go. rain subsided. 3pm. we pooped out the pratas and entered Sentosa with happy faces! :D cycling around sentosa, zihao just cannot make it! anyhows, we found many hidden lovely abode of sentosa. hee. after cycling, we basked at the beach. KODAK MOMENT of the DAY. a guy doing all kinds of weird actions. we laughed hard and mad.















the orange t-shirts was absolutely coincidental. freaky. :D
God ending the day with His beautiful creations of nature. :))

is this even fair?

i know who it is. you dont have to explain. forgive me. i retreat.

possibilities.

maybe i know what's going on now. the frequented glimpses of a person's ways or actions speak for itself. quite palpable as it seems. so there i am, laying back in the shadows observing. then i figured, maybe she don't want to know you. she don't even want to listen to ur life. but if given just a chance to sit down with you w/o you caring about what other people might think of us, i would converse with you. i would want to know you. i would say things like "i managed to find flower seeds! :D and here's a packet of chrysanthemum seeds for you!", "next week will be my last week at YG and i'm going to miss them...ohh...siti even made me a hand drawn card. *showing it to you - a blue rectangular cut out paper with inscriptions that say 'i want you to teach me a very day please!' then i'll tell you that siti didnt know how to spell ''every" that's why she wrote "...a very.."", "so how're you doing?" (considering i dont know much abt you these days that's what i would ask) then i'll improvise and learn abt you :D yup. if only u knew how much it meant to me just by sitting down alone with you talking and knowing you. like in the past. it'll simply make my day:)) well, till an enchanted day like this comes, i'll be accumulating the things i want to share with you. i'm your friend and i want to be there for you. :)

scatch?! :D

waiting patiently at the 852 bus-stop near my house. situation at the bus-stop: the sun was blistering hot (thankfully there's something called shelter :)), passing-by aunties carrying big and small plastic bags of vegetables and tagging chubby little kiddos and intoxicating bus fumes.

here comes the happening of the day! :D

like any typical person, there is the outstretched neck followed by the squinting of our eyes at the distant bus signage located at the forehead of the bus. much disappointment, it wasn't the bus i was hoping for. bus 178 it was (20mins lapsed at the bus stop). so i retreated back to my previous position. 178 came then something caught my eye. Mr Bus Driver was scratching HIS LEFT ARMPIT with HIS RIGHT HAND followed by a deep inhalation to determine whether it was an odour or a scent. :DDDD. my jaws dropped rockbottom. "can't he do it a tad more discreetly??" gees...i thought to myself. witnessing the entire sequel was disgusting to the max. imagine the germs on the steering wheel. max and beyond! eww! *lost my supper-tite*

anyhows, this sequel reminded me of this movie "Perfume". (the protaganist) a man borned with a sense of smell so refined and attuned to every blade of grass and fragrant flower discovers his interest in perfume. One day he learnt of the most intoxicating scent he has ever experienced -the natural fragrance of a young girl- so he devised a method that would preserve her scent for eternality but would require certain ingredients. true to his colossal ambition, he stalked and murdered women in order to acquire the necessary ingredients...the rest is up to the movie to tell :D a woman's scent sure is intriguing. at least to me. :P haha just my warped sense of lyrical romanticism.

2nd scratch came from a flying ball which no-human-reflex can block. face with a little left whisker? haha!

lovely happenings of my life God has installed. ironically funny. :D

a reborned heart. :))

i just wanna thank you Lord. :)
thank you for giving me an answer so promptly.
i live for you today. always.

paper message to God :)

"Father, it hurts. :( i've failed yet again to guard my heart above all else. i'm liable for my weakness. please forgive me God. teach me to revere you always. to seek your will and not mine. and to know that a Christian's joy is not based on circumstances of the world but on the love and truth that you died and rose again to clear the sins of man. thank you reminding me that u're still there and all i've to do is to be patient, to love and to trust. in all this i pray and ask for in Jesus'name. amen."

tears apart :..)

there i was. stood transfixed. like a deer staring into a pair of oncoming headlights. ((OO)) the sight of her brother purging every ounce of bitterness from his heart and out through his tears. a long drawn out sob, that hics and heightens into a wail then simmers back down to a moan. attached he was to his beloved sister. all i could do was to give him a firm grip on his shoulder and allowed him to relinquish his bitterness (which includes mucus and tears) unto my shirt. that was the least i could do..i guess. everything was happening soooo rapidly. or maybe i was retarding, lagging, trying to find an equilibrium for my chaotic processes of thoughts and feelings. normal people were tearing and abnormalities like myself just had to put up with a suppressed, constipated look. waving goodbyes were the hardest. i reacted anyhows. despite having yet to decifer the codes in my head. returning home on yongen's car, i begun searching deep within all the muss. first msg to the brain came up, "Rae is flying tonight!" then the next, "She's probably on the plane right now." reminiscing the past times we shared. the joyful ones and the painful ones. all through thick and thin. i teared. it was the kind of sadness that takes your knees out and off from right under you or a hit so hard on the chest that you can hardly find breath inbetween gasping and choking. create as many wonderful memories as you can, dont stop loving and forgiving coz you only have one lifetime. i'm going to miss this sister of mine. rae.

ps: CIP terminal was of such grandeur and splendor can! :D i felt like a 5year old boy running all around exploring my new house. :) never never land it was. gym. 5nap rooms. 2 international phone booths. 3osim massage chairs. minibar. 3 tv rooms. 6 toilets with shower heads. plus spa massage services which cost $250 for 45mins. :D

"Father, please carry rae in every step of the way and remind her to keep you close and ziplocked to her heart always. thank you for yet another day blessed. amen"

saga, cartel & surprise!

just came back. :) cleaning up saga seeds is a major saga. haha. after acapella, the few of us went and out of south transcept to pick saga seeds. we had to complete the bottle. then.. God dropped a plastic bag load of saga seeds with its stalks on us! woah! :D blessings. brushed. batted. minutes later, we're stuck with truck loads of saga seeds. hee. we thought...eh..."wouldn't the glass bottle be unpresentable and mouldy after some time?" we washed then realised a fact that saga seeds turn mouldy when its wet! *eye twitches* "...means we've to clean every single seed." we toast it. roasted seeds appeared. haha! then met yuehan to search for box?! took forever i wonder why... ...yup! and because it took forever, i had to confirm with jayne that they're not at cartel so i called her and have her answer my questions given probable answers with random phases. like "raffles city very expensive" meant will reach in 15 mins time. hahaha. me & yuehan turned up late still. haha thanks to the parking lots in MS. Wong ling lao shi took even longer despite her in front of us :DDD ate. photoed. photoed some more. cheesecake. pretentious goodbye to rae! then zoom past traffic jams to jayne's house. surprise! rae shocked. photo album. song made by jiayun and jayne. yuehan killing 2 birds with one stone (doing homework). weijie's birthday! zara shirt for him. tired. stoned and dining table. lenice being 'maria' serving us plain water and explaining why the tap in the kitchen is for washing kitchen floor. teleported meimei, yongen, justin and yuehan home and drooled my way to sleep. zzZ. goodnight. God is wonderful for giving me such a memorable day!

blog borned! :))

Hello bloggy! :) this is my 1st time typing my thoughts down into/onto an online diary/blog. hahah! still struggling with the terms used. but anyhows, reasons for blogging are...to save the trees!(more selfish diaries bought = more innocent trees chopped :D) plus to be understood i guess. haha! ohh wells...here are my train of thoughts :)